How To Be A Great Parent - In Three Easy Steps

1) Provide stimulating activity. The kids always love art projects, but they are so messy. I had this great idea that the kids could finger paint in the bathtub and then clean-up would be much easier. I was in a very good mood, so I gave Megan a very special bonus activity: "erasing" the paint! I gave her a sponge and told her to do the whole thing, because of my particular generosity.

2) Continuously strive to be a better parent. Whenever you stop learning you stagnate. That's why I was pursuing self improvement while the kids were painting. The entire time I sat on the sink reading a parenting magazine. The margarita I was drinking helped foster a good learning environment.

3) Provide good nutrition. After I got the kids all washed up, I could tell they were hungry. I didn't want to fix anything complicated because the kitchen was already a big mess and I wisely didn't want to add to it (I couldn't be bothered with dishes because I was focusing all of my attentions on my children). But I knew they needed to get their blood sugar up before we had a major melt-down. So we split a bag of Skittles. Because I want to be a good wife as well as a good mom, I made sure we finished the whole bag before Mac got home, because he is on a diet and we aren't.

Being a parent is hard work, but it is worth it when you can feel proud of the job you have done.