Recently people have gone from telling me I am getting really big to saying I am not that big for someone who is seven months pregnant. I personally like this latter vein of remarks much better than the former, but I must say some people have an interesting way of being complimentary.
On Wednesday I got two very similar bizarre remarks. After saying I was seven months along, one guy said to me, "Well, you're not a house yet." Not knowing what to say, I came up with something equally stupid,"Yeah, I am more like a condominium." We both (pretended) to laugh and I walked away. Later that afternoon, a woman said to me, "Wow, by seven months I was a tank!" Having curtailed one conversation with a come-back stupid simile, I decided to try again, "Yeah, I am more like a Hum-vee." I am blaming my stupidity on pregnancy; I don't have an excuse for the other two.
The other comment I got three times this week was "You don't look pregnant from the back." I didn't make any responses to this one, but a myriad of smart-alec remarks ran through my head:
-"That's 'cuz my uterus isn't in the back."
-"Yeah, my butt has always been big so it is hard to tell."
-"You can't tell a person has a cleft lip from the back either."
-"Um, do you remember that I used to have a waist, even from the back!"
But I just smiled, and tried not to waddle as I walked away.
I completely lost my waist during pregnancy. Instead of looking like an hourglass from the back (which I don't really anyway), I looked like a rectangle. Really, not looking pregnant from the back is a huge compliment, even though it seems inane.
ReplyDeleteThen there was the time in bed when Craig put his hand on my butt and told me I was getting much bigger. After a pause, I informed him that he was not holding my stomach. It took a while to recover from the laughing.
Pam said: "You can't tell a person has a cleft lip from the back either."
ReplyDeletePriceless.