Primary Care Giver

A few years ago, Mac and I went to a wedding in North Dakota. The bride and groom were active in the Episcopalian church, in fact, the two met at a church camp. Mac went to college with the groom. Though they didn't share the same religious views, the two became good friends, so much so that Mac was actually in the wedding party.

During the wedding ceremony the minister decided to say a few words about marriage, as ministers often do. He commenced with the joys of marriage and also addressed the marriage roles of the two partners, which basically read like some pre-feminist Ladies Home Journal magazine: the man goes to work and provides for his family while the woman takes care of the family and bears children when the time is right. The minister went on to acknowledge some of the lows in marriage as well, and admitted there would be times when the couple would disagree, but he offered the solution on how to deal with this situation (and this is pretty close to an exact quote):
"Dan and Jenny," he addressed them,"When you disagree, Dan gets the tie-breaking vote."

OH-MY-GOD!

Flash forward: This week I had a similar experience. Megan has been sick most of the week - runny nose, cough, acting a little sluggish. Now Mac and I have very different attitudes towards illness. For me, if you aren't dying or in need of surgery, you really don't need to seek medical attention (don't tell my colleagues that I said this). But for Mac, if you aren't at 100%, you should do everything you can to get there, including visit the doctor.

Sure, I have been grossed out when Megan is chewing on things she has just coughed up and I don't like that my kid is now one of those kids with a continuous line of snot from her nose to her lip, but it's just a cold and she'll get over it.

Mac couldn't be that passive. He needed meds, thermometers, he campaigned for a doctor's visit, he wanted Megan to sit out of swimming lessons. I got him to see my side on the latter two, but we were still discussing our differences of opinions on the first two matters when Mac announced:

"Well, I am the primary care giver so I get to make the decisions."

OH-MY-GOD.